Saturday, May 14, 2011

Remembering Pebbles

Yesterday I brought home the ashes of my friend, Pebbles, a Springer Spaniel whose only fault was laying down in spots where she blocked you from walking. She always trusted me and anyone to step over her without stepping on here.
She turned 15 years old in April and died on the May 5.
She had been in decent health until around April 30 when she rapidly began to lose interest in her food. This was something she did from time to time, so for the first few days I didn't give it much thought.
As the week progressed, her interest in food continued to drop until she stopped eating on May 4. All she wanted to do was sleep.
When I got up on Thursday morning, I saw Pebbles had an accident in the house, something she never did. I cleaned up after her and then cleaned her up. She could stand and walk if I encouraged her but by then her breathing was labored.
Maybe the vet could have saved her. I don't know and I know I'll wonder for as long as I live if I should have asked the vet to do whatever to save her, instead of asking the vet to put her to sleep.
It didn't take long. I was there on the floor with her while the injection was given. In less than a minute she was gone and we were alone on the cold floor.
People ask when/if I'll get another dog. I don't know. I do know that no dog can replace her. She was with me longer than any of the dogs I have had since I was a very young boy and I do feel a avoid but not for a dog. The void is for her.
I guess the best way to describe what I'm feeling is that you can't replace a living being that you loved and who loved you. You might find another to love but that will be a new love, not a replacement. This holds true for dogs as well as humans.
I hope all dogs go to Heaven, just as I hope all people go to Heaven. I hope but I don't know. And considering how I feel about Pebbles - trusting and loving and putting up with me - I don't think I want there to be a Heaven unless there is a Heaven for all God's creatures.

No comments:

Post a Comment